S - Superstitious

Though we live in 21 century, still our mind is engulfed with superstitious beliefs. Superstitious beliefs pass from one generation to other. My grandparents beliefs were passed to my parents tried their best to pass it to their children as per the traditions. Some of them which I remember goes on like this.

1) Not to cut nails after dark and on Tuesdays and Fridays, apparently goddess lakshmi will get angry.

2) Not to lend money to people on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, oops goddess Lakshmi will get angry again.

3) Buy salt first with your salary every month and then spend it, this somehow pleases goddess Lakshmi and she ensure that we have enough money till month end. Now I know why we were never short of salt at home.

4) If you want to stop rain, place a mortar and pestle on the terrace of your house. I heard this from my MIL. Really , funny not sure if it works :P

5) Sneezing is considered to be bad luck.

List goes on and these superstitious beliefs still linger on our minds.

R - Rage

Rage is a manifestation of multitude of actions and emotions. What surprises and annoys me is how a rage can lead to a series of chain effects and disrupt and destroy our surrounding, peace and common mans life. With the recent events in Bangalore, it has been annoying to hear about few incident that led to injury of few innocent men and women. I fail to understand, why any form of protest must turn into violence. Since past few days , some sections of the city witnessed extreme violence and it was burning. I agree that common men may not be happy with the governments policies and we do have right to protest but why seek violence. During last day's protest against government's policy on  Employee's provident fund,employees of garment industry decided to protest which is a sign of democracy however while these protests few anti social evangelist did turn events hostile which led to injury of 24 people. What was the mob's point when they attacked a constable who was just doing his duty. A poor college student was accidentally hit by bullet who was just returning home after college. Mob pelted stones at passing vehicles and set fire to public transport, property worth crores has been destroyed in two days. It is public property, build using our tax money. By destroying public property we are actually putting our money to waste.

Protest of any form must be done without seeking violence or harming innocent men and women. Though policy makers may have revoked the policy which is for good but protesters have definitely left a lot of baggage which needs to be filled now. Its not just public property but have also disrupted few families and have painted a dark future for them. My prayers for people who have been injured and harmed in these recent events.

Q - Quintessential

Yesterday, was the day where i was confronted with bloggers block. I anticipated this day, as letters like Q , Y and Z caught my mind when i started with this challenge. Q has been the major one where i had pondered enough and still had no clue what to write. Finally, i could zero in on Quintessential. I would like to jot down my list of quintessential people who have impacted my life.

Firstly my mother, she holds a very important place in my life. All that i have learnt is more of a reflection of my mothers upbringing. She ensured that we as kids get all that she couldn't as a a kid, enable and nurtured us to be confident, patient and above all she blessed us with most powerful tool , the ability to decide. I started making decisions quite early in life, if it was not for her constant support and guidance i would not have achieved all that i have in my life today. She is like all mothers overprotective and constantly feared my safety but still always gave me the freedom to make my choices. Her constant mentoring has given me the ability to decide right and wrong and i am able to make sane decisions in life. My father as well left no stone to nurture me and my brother as kids, in spite of his travelling job and disconnect with our growing up years, he did add lot of value to my mothers upbringing with all time that he gave us. Though he spent less months with us in a year but still he used to fill up the gap by being their for important occasions and teaching us life lessons. Biggest lesson my father taught me is to never forget the life that we have left behind, place where we started. If you have reached a level in society then be grounded and give back to others in every form possible.Never forget your struggles and never hold pride for your achievements. I learnt how important it is to be hardcore and compassionate.

My friend Sangs , i met her while i started working and its been 10 years since we have known each other. I have learnt from her to live life to fullest, never succumb oneself to circumstances. Life is all about what you want and its not to be taken so seriously. I have admired her for strength, courage and for being there for everyone who needs her. Most delightful quality in her is sticking to the guns. I guess we hit the cord well and stuck to each other for so long because of our beliefs which sync in so well.

Lastly is my husband, my friend , foe, guide and also a scathing critique since last 6 years. He thought me to be above average and not just be a commoner. Taught me too look at life as a journey which needs to be explored, taught me to be little eccentric and not just shy away from anything new. Taught me that life is not just about accumulating wealth, bringing up children, investing in real estates and securing for life for our kids, but its also about spending it for experiences that are worth while as life is to be lived not for others but for ourselves and till we have life everything must be explored.

Blessed to have them in my life.

P - Peaceful

Do you remember the last time you were at peace with yourself? When was the last time you asked yourself “Am I at peace today”  I ask myself this question everyday and my answer always is “Its all in the mind”. I swing like a sea-saw between war and peace everyday. My introspection made me realize that war and peace are two sides of same coin, with war comes peace and for peace to prevail we need to wage a war.

Everyday i search for peace while i'm driving or while i'm fixing a buggy code. My state of mind is always dependent on others behavior. My state of mind is driven by external factors and also is in a tussle with my own emotions. I get impacted by news channels and politicians greedy act and outburst on my close associates for no reason. Why do i always fail to understand that ignorance is bliss.

In our daily life we let peace fall time and again, if i introspect my life and answer  few grave questions like how many times have I been overwhelmed by my emotions and have lost my temper. Do I let my work, movies, newspaper, other behavior influence the way I think and feel? Have there been instances where I have regretted about my reactions and attitude ? Have I shouted at my family, friends for no reason. All the above listed is true for me, and I am letting peace fail, peace is falling and diminishing in my life. It is my own lack of skills in mind control that i'm falling prey to this. It is important that to let peace prevail in my heart, I should learn to keep balance before its too late and this erodes me of happiness. Peace is just a fraction away from that raging war in our hearts, we need to discover it , cherish it and protect it with a bag of detachment before its too late because "Nothing external to you has the power to take over you".

O - Objectification

Movie is one of my favorite pastime and relaxation technique, but what makes me sick is female objectification in movies. Songs like Chikini Chameli, Sheela ki Jawani etc potray a very sad picture. If we look at most of the Bollywood movies, it is not just female objectification but also casting women less than men. To showcase men as macho, a female leads character in movies is always portrayed as helpless. Few examples being - a mothers role is only to be emotional or to be a cry baby, a sisters role is only to tie rakhi or get kidnapped by a villan, a heroines role is only to attract male lead and dance around trees and showcase her low IQ.

Though with modern movies, we have progressed a little but its only in terms of more powerful dialogues or more screen space. In 70's a female leads role was limited to being a tragedy queen or a Abla Nari ( Incapable women ), with 80's women entered offices or were cased as Sanskari Bahu's (Daughter-in- law with high morals ) and beeti's (Daughter). Today as well, we are at same stage. If we look at recent movie like Cocktail, Saif Ali Khan finally chooses modest Diana rather the free spirited Deepika, worst being Deepika at the end moves to soberness and goes with Indian outfits to impress Saif. A movie like Kick, where girl falls in love with an obsessed man. Who in sane world will fall for such men ? If we look at movie list, it just goes on. Women are not only objectified in cheap, derogatory songs but also not show as equal. If this is what we portray then what are we expecting our next generations to learn. We need to bridge the gap and show more of progressive side of society which will definitely help in avoiding another Nirbhaya.

N - Nostalgia

With Bangalore heat soaring up at 37°c, off late I have been nostalgic about my good old childhood days. We used to stay is North India and Bangalore being my maternal home town was a good escape from North India's cruel summer. I used to look forward for summers and it was my favorite season of the year. I like summers now as well but my only reason now is my love for mangoes. When I look back at my childhood,I had ample reasons to love summer.

Visiting Bangalore for summer vacations had plenty to offer. We used to walk everyday to Cubbon Park or Vidhan Sabha due to close proximity of these places to my grandparents house, now i can hardly think of walking down the street due traffic, extreme heat and also pollution. We kids would plan whole day our evening outing but popular Bangalore evening  rains would usually spoil our evening rendezvous with Commercial Street. Though disappointed with downpour but still I would enjoy the earthy smell and watch rain droplets everyday and help my grandfather in collecting rain water for plants. Yes, my grandfather believed in rain water harvesting in those days. I guess he had visualized where Bangalore was heading. Everyday evening rain was so common in Bangalore ,but now we just pray rain god to show some mercy.

Summer were also special because it was the only time in year when I would meet all my cousins ,aunts and uncles.Large family gathering at grandparents house, as everybody would comes down for vacations. We kids would spend nights and days chit chatting stories that would never end ,hogging mangoes & jack fruit as if we were all competing to eat as much as possible. All kids sleeping together in same room no matter whether bed was sufficient or not, we just wanted to stay together. Nights were longer and days would start early but our stories would not end. Everyday begging one or the other elder to treat us with ice cream after lunch. If today it's uncle A then tomorrow it would be Aunt C. Renting cycles for learning or just for fun was our vacation hobby, random games and hobbies would just end after vacation,

Life moves on, but what remains is memories which we create. Today, Bangalore has moved ahead and has changed more than expected. Once the garden city & retirement paradise is now IT hub of India, bustling with vehicles, people, tall towers busy flyovers. Everything has changed but what remains is memories, one can only have nostalgia with the past.

M - Mageirocophobia

Today's letter is M, and for M i chose Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking. I was recently introduced to this word and i was elated that such word actually exists.

I am a big time foodie. I enjoy trying out various cuisines and relish good food, but i dont like cooking. So i guess i do have a mild version of Mageirocophobia. Cooking is always overwhelming and boring for me. I find it a waste of time to spend time in kitchen and spend hours together in putting up a meal which will vanish in few minutes.Rather than cooking i prefer to put my brain and time to something more intellectual and creative. Especially when one is working and is crunched with time, cooking seems to be more than a burden. However, with increase in waistline due to restaurant food and the bills that pile up, cooking doesnt seem to be a bad option if one is well prepared. Also. cooking makes one a more mindful eater as you keep tab on a how healthy food is. Cooking a dish yourself, let you decide and know what exactly is in it. Cooking in less than 10 min comes with practice, its just like driving. When one starts driving, you take it slow, but later you do start driving on highways as well. So cooking with perfection and cooking fast comes with practice and also some organization. To overcome this fear, this is what i try.

1) Constantly check on weight : I keep a tab on my waistline and weight, so his definitely motivates me to ensure what i eat and who can be a better planner than me myself.

2)Organization : Organization really helps. If your kitchen is well organized, then you definitely wont lose time in reaching out for ingredients. I usually have a tough time keeping things organized, so i have labeled boxes with all kitchen ingredients. It helps save some time.

3) Plan you meals : I 'am a weight watcher, so i plan my meals in advance and  actively use apps like healthifyme and myfitness pal to keep track of what i'm planning to eat. This helps me not only keep track of calories that i will consume but i can also plan my meals better along with tracking nutrients consumed.

4) Cook Together : Cooking with partner is definitely a motivation and also saves a lot of time. This also helps in spending some quality time together after a busy day.

5) Find supporters : Find people who are gracious enough to pick what you cook. Now, if you have a picky partner then this is going to be a challenge.

Above all this have an open mind, challenge yourself and keep trying.

L - love

Love - a mirage.
Does it really exist ?

Strangely it didn't survive
Overwhelmed with joy
When you said
I love you !!

Escatic i was,

With all woven dreams.

But I failed to see,
How false it meant !
Your words had no meaning at all.
Blindfolded in love,
Nothing I could see.

The damage that caused.

Alas! it ended.
Fuddled in your love,
I still ponder over those words
Was it reality or just a mirage

K - Kooky

Today's letter is K. I had a lot on my mind today like K for kind , keen, kvetching and many more but what interests me is word KOOKY.  Freedictionay.com says KOOKY is strange or eccentric. Eccentricity has always attracted me. Somehow I believe that there is a deep psychology behind it. Kookiness is not a characteristic or a habit which is inherent since birth. It is something that is acquired with time or sometimes it is just part and parcel of a moment. Here I list some of my kooky moments.

1) Gaming addict -The eccentricity with which i'm addicted to online games. I can't think of a day without playing "Clash of clans" or "Word with friends". The madness to acquire gold or points in these above mentioned games is just craziness and is only a moments happiness. I know it's an addiction but still I play like mad as if it's last.

2) Participating in numerous challenges - I like to challenge myself to an extent that I do invite fatigue. Random challenges like A-z writing challenge or 100 happy days or even challenging myself in B-school simulation assignments in spite of being overly burdened with work,home, family etc.

3) TV series or movie marathon - I can go crazy like hell if I get hooked to a series or movies. I can watch an entire series in just few days and I have done that. I have watched movies in a stretch, of course with required natural breaks :)

All these are just few kooky activities in my list. Would you like to share yours :)

J- Joy

Joy,
Where are you ?
Are you with me? or
Are you surrounding me ?
I am fuddled, the way you surprise me
I see you with the first ray of dawn
I hear you with chirping birds
Your cool breeze rekindles me
And shiny blooms heal my soul
You do rejuvenate me when it rains
And with the joy of scented earthy smell
However still i might be,
Your presence uplifts my soul
You environ me even in pain
I sense you even in distress
I feel you even when discouraged
I hear you whisper
When I am left broken
Reminiscing old love
You are innate deep within
Guiding while dark clouds engulf me
You have a place in my heart

Wherever you may be.

I - Idiosyncratic

All of us are unique. All of us have that something special which makes us special. But, do we really know what is that special, unique thing in our life or about us. Answer to this is difficult and life is most of the times cruel and breaks us into pieces and tests us time and again to help us identify that special.

Many youngsters do have this challenge of answering this question or being confused about what they need to do or achieve in life. Many of us while young try hard to impress people around us to prove our worth but while trying to prove ourselves we somehow lose meaning in our own dwelling. Our uniqueness gets lost in trying to achieve unbelievable. Living in this competitive society makes us just like a robot and nothing more than that.

We do fail many times and get bogged down by our own thoughts, desires and dreams. We fail to realize in life that idiosyncrasies can only be unveiled when we have more experiences in life. To find that uniqueness we need to take risks, we need to challenge things and we need to explore more. All of us are unique,its just that we should stop binding ourselves and explore more in life. Have you found your idiosyncrasy.

H - Headstrong

God made both man and woman, but he never said that woman must only cater to duties of kitchen and man should look for work outside home.World has changed, centuries have passed by but we still label woman with names based on prejudices. In this stereotypical society, we do come across parents who teach their daughters to be accommodating and at the same time encourage their boys to prove their masculinity by showing their strength. We teach boys to be ambitious and headstrong, to mask their fears and to be the bread earner of the house but tell our daughters, not to be egoistic or have high ambitions, as it may harm their married life. If a girl is obstinate and headstrong, its frowned upon. If a women in strong and speaks her mind, she is considered cold. Society labels them with unwanted names but doesn't realize that a real women must be head strong who can pick herself up when there are broken pieces in her life. A real women is one who can stand up for herself and show the world that she is no less than a man

G - Gratitide

Life is always beautiful. It does come with few surprises but it is still beautiful. One minute you may find it stuck, but there are also moments when you are dancing to the tunes of happiness. Life gives us back a great deal and we hardly realize the it can be richer when we are grateful to what we have. We hear stories about people attempting suicides due to many reasons in life. People get depressed due to various reasons like love, work, success etc and commit suicide but they fail to understand what life has to give them back. Gratitude towards life is usually locked up in deep corners in our heart and we fail to see the brighter side of life. Before, we turn to our weaknesses, one must pay gratitude to what life gives them back. We have only one life and its up to us to make it beautiful.

F- Fear

Throughout the years, you have been someone.
I couldn’t understand.
You appeared whenever you felt it was right.
Someone who was there when least expected.
Don’t know whether to call you friend or foe.
You presence sent shivers down my spine.
And you won’t bother to move even a line.
I stood in front of you, strong and tall.
Sometimes I survived, alas but times I couldn’t.
I thought I could challenge you, control you.
But you were the master, stronger than ever.
I looked for ways but there was no way out.
Crushed I was under the weights of your power.
I dialed for help, but alas it was a failure.
Wish I could control, wish I had power.
Just so I wish, I could just walk away.

E - Envy : My life

I live in an embellished land. This is a huge city, bustling with people, tall towers. Centuries ago, I lived a peaceful life, nobody bothered about me except for few people here and there. I was happily living here and there in their mind with no time constraints. I stayed in few hearts and had enough time for myself. I would focus on corrupting minds of my handful of slaves and my day would be spent just enjoying the luxuries of life. Oh!! What a beautiful life it was.

As years passed by world changed, people changed. There were people conquering lands, there were people who wanted to have their own ideal world. My job became more and more demanding. Society was getting divided into two sections – rich became richer and poor became poorer. I was slowly making home in more and more hearts. My empire was expanding. I enjoyed my popularity and started playing mind tricks aggressively. I ensured that people followed me more than ever and used my skills to strengthen their dark sides and achieve their ambitions. I fed their minds with the help of my friends; greed, hatred, ego and others from the dark world and led fanatics to destroy this world. I conquered land, lady and had enough glory on my crown. I started spending days and nights feeding my slaves, planning destruction with them and today I live in every heart in this city.

I have a big empire but I have lost peace, I have no time for myself. I see this destruction and feel ashamed sometimes. Some wise men conduct session to preach and help my slaves to overcome me. I fear that my empire will be lost, I fear those wise men and I fear those who have forgotten me. I wonder where this world is leading to. When I look at mirror sometimes, I can’t meet an eye with my own shadow. He accuses me of all destruction but I am just doing my job, angel bestowed me with. Will I diminish? No I wont, I don’t think so, these men are foolish enough and I can control them. I will survive for ages to come and grow my empire further and further. Some call me envy, some call me jealously, some call me nasty; whatever may be my name, I am here to survive.

D - Deep Thought Process

D is definitely DTP for me which is the short form of "Deep Though Processing". This three lettered acronym was derived by me and my husband during our dating days. Let me start with why it was required.

Usually, when a relationship starts its all sugar coated, all rosy. You start think that you are in the dream world with a perfect partner but reality starts sinking in only after some three to fours months. This is the stage when you get into the mode of DTP. Doubts and questions keep popping in your mind. Is he/she right for me ? Is there a future ? Should we really continue ? All these sorts of questions keep popping up and you also tend to start making a list of pros and cons of being in relationship with that person. This phase is not uncommon for young unmarried couples and also for married one who are is a rocky relationship. Like all sane humans, we also did have phases in relationship which were rough and patchy. It was in those phases that we both always relied on DTP to analyze and scrutinize the situation further. DTP really helped on sealing our bond further. We would individually think what went wrong, list down all pros and cons and then confront each other to come to a conclusion. These DTP exercises really helped us to survive in long distance relationship for 4 years and finally we are married. We use it today as well in our married life. Key to successful relationship is to never keep any arguments open, and never sleep angry :)

C - Carefree

When I think of word C, lot of things came to my mind: Confusion, Compassion, Cacophony but I chose to write about Carefree. I relate to this word carefree more than anything else. You might think I’m obsessed with word free; yesterday I wrote all about break free and today i'm writing about C for CAREFREE.

I have always been a serious achiever throughout my life, sometimes even an overachiever. Since I was little, I worked really hard to achieve excellent grades, get a good job, strive hard to impress boss. I always had goals set for myself and ensured I push myself hard to achieve them. Nothing has changed even today except for the fact that I have toned down a bit. Reason being many, firstly anxiety that I had to deal with. Worrying about trivial things made me anxious; ultimately I realized that it’s detrimental to health. Mind and body are interlinked; more obsessed we are with mundane things, more stress we are adding to our life. Consequence is always sleepless and restless night. Imagine reaching office and ending your day with mugs of coffee and caffeinating your body. It threatens not only health but ultimately success.

Secondly, being a perfectionist. It’s good to be a perfectionist but a perfectionist who can deal with failures and errors is even better. It was a hard way for me to learn that it’s ok to commit mistakes; one need not slog to be perfect; there is always a second time and a lot more. In order to achieve perfection, I need not break my bones and nerves. All this post trauma of going through being a perfectionist and overachiever led my way towards being carefree.

Now my friends, being carefree is not that easy. You need to constantly remind yourself that it’s ok to commit mistakes. Adding positivity to your life is also not joke, when you are the kind who always believes in criticizing more than appreciating. I realized that being carefree is also like taking baby steps. Ignoring all mundane things in life which are a constant source of worry, does help. Taking some "ME" time for self introspection is a great way to practice. Having goals and objectives in life with proper pre-planning is great but one also needs to have courage to laugh at failures and learn from mistakes. Happiness is always associated with oneself; we try to find it in our ambitions but however fail to understand that it is within us. Being carefree is the first step towards happiness. Don't take life so seriously that you ultimately forget to live life. Remember, life is beautiful only when you know how to deal with it and how to perceive it.Choice is yours.

B - Breakfree

We live in a free society but, are we really free ? We claimed independence from our powerful oppressor long ago but still we are enslaved to many things around us. We have enslaved ourselves to our own beliefs, expectations, past, culture and most important society. Truly speaking, we are not free. Most of the times, our life is not based on free choice. We ignore our passions, desires and chose what society wants us to be or we ignore our talents due to sheer lack of confidence and fail to see the path of excellence. Sometimes society and sometimes our own mental construct prevents us from achieving things in life.

Fear of being ostracized from society, community always hinders one from taking free choices in life. Similarly, fear of failure prevents us from taking risks or following unknown paths. Even if we are fiercely independent, we still find ourselves enslaved to above mentioned aspects. All of us are interested in discovering ourselves which definitely requires us to challenge our inner enslavement. If we really want to break free then questioning things around us is the only solution. For Example - In few societies, girls usually have a lot or pressure to get married early in life. Late marriages are questionable and families are shunned if they do not follow societal norms. However, such families and societies fail to understand that they are curbing somebody's talent, they are clipping their daughters wings by pushing them to life of marriage when girls are actually not ready. If such girls who have dreams and aspirations, question their families and do not follow the societal trend then they have actually broken the barrier and have discovered themselves. Breaking free in life is all about going through the unknown, coming out of your inner fears and disabling all mental constructs.

Take a moment to honestly review your life and look for aspects which you felt were wrong but never questioned them.Question them today and break free it for generations to come.

A-Z challenge for April 2016

Everybody needs a little push. Sometimes it is  in the form of self motivation and sometimes it is ignited by challenges thrown by our surroundings or by people around us. I have been blogging for almost a year now but at snails pace. 17 posts in one year , not bad i guess. Few days back i saw a post on Facebook which said blogging challenge. This challenge requires one to post everyday during the month of April barring Sundays. Yipee.. i get 4 days off from my blog page.

Now this is really interesting and challenging, participants need to post each day using a letter from A to Z in sequence. What else can i ask for ? The ultimate push that i needed to add more posts to my blog and on top of that i also get some starting point. 26 letters and 26 posts in a month. This is my first time at this challenge which has a history of 7 years and i'm here to survive. Wish me luck.

I have decided that my posts starting from A to Z will be collection of emotions, state of mind which i truly relate to and believe in.

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/

A - Amusing

Life always comes up with surprises, one minute it’s stuck, next minute it’s stirring like an impulsive breeze. When life is stuck, we are in a cobweb of unhappiness; however in that unhappiness as well we get amused with multiple things. While we walk down the street, talking on phone, conversing with a friend or even while working on computers. In this post I just list down some amusing things which I personally cherish.

1.   Having a conversation with friend who rather than listening to my grave problem is more concerned about my grammatical errors. Dealing with friends who keep me on toes with vocabulary and grammar is always challenging, learning and amusing enough to have some wonderful and memorable fun conversations.
2.  Answering an innocent kid is always amusing. When a three old asks you, where are babies supposed to come from? How to fly like a bird ?
3.  When you turn 30, and someone asks how does it feel like being 30. Come on guys age is just a number, grow up. You are never too old to do anything.

This list will go on, because its only one life, so celebrate every moment and amuse yourself with everything that comes your way.